I (will) do...

Okay, so I was watching the Block tonight (what a show, am I right?) and the show 'Married at First Sight' came on afterwards. For some reason I thought, sure, why not?

Just so you're aware, this is not a critique of the show or the concept... I'm sure plenty of other people have written those blog posts, but rather it reminded me of something I've been meaning to write about for a while.

I recently read an article that talked about how, as a woman, the moments that will be celebrated the most in my life will be my wedding day and the birth of my children. Sure, we celebrate our graduation, getting a job or a promotion, but when was the last time you attended a "I got my dream job" party that cost over $20k? 

Our ability to find and keep a man becomes a way we define our worth. 

It's been a long process for me over the last year, trying to come to grips with the idea that my worth isn't found in my relationships. That who I am as a person is no more or no less for having a boyfriend, or a husband or a child. That my life can be successful, meaningful, and just straight up full with just me. 

This isn't a mindset that we teach our girls well, if we're really honest. I've been the girl in tears, asking the universe why 'he' didn't want me and I've been the shoulder for others who believed that their singleness was the result of some deep flaw in themselves. I've been the girl who couldn't imagine a dream bigger than getting married, and I've been the shoulder to girls who have battled with their sense of self after a relationship has ended and left them alone.

In a previous post I mentioned, very briefly, a conversation I had with some family friends over Easter weekend last year. I was told in no uncertain terms that my dreams sucked and I needed to get better ones. I needed to want more for myself, and that wasn't about setting my bar higher and finding a 'better' man. It was about making my life self fulfilling. I have slowly tried to make that come true, to not rely on an ideal future or relationship to feed my happiness and contentment. I don't always get it right, and I'm still working on wiring my brain to believe I'm worth enough on my own, but I like to think that Taylor today would have some very stern/challenging words to say to Taylor of a year ago, and even more to Taylor from three or four years ago. 

So here I am, rambling on, basically wanting to give anyone reading this the same slap in the face. Want more for yourself and believe you're worth more. Get a better dream. Throw society's expectations back in its face and aim for more than a boyfriend or a husband. Write a book (:D), record an album, paint or sketch, discover something scientific or invent something techy (can you tell I did a BA?), go to space, change the world. 

Don't fall for a culture that has an audience for 'Married at First Sight' let alone willing contestants...

Peace.

(Disclaimer: Relationships are great, and this isn't meant to make anyone feel bad for being in one or for wanting one, just encourage you to want more for yourself than just that. =D)